Guys are douche bags and I’m tired of their shitty excuses.
June 2011
Day two-
In ten years I hope to see myself in a very peaceful place and happy. I’d love to just be some place where I don’t have to feel worried, ever.
May 2011
So I had been cleaning since 12 to 4 and I wanted to shower then go for a bike ride. I lost the key to my lock on the bike so instead I walked. When I got to the end of my street I noticed I saw him. The person I used to like, thing-with deal, talked a lot of shit the whole weekend about right infront of me. He had his bike and I didn’t so we just talked real quickly. I walked and he rode his bike around and then came right next to me and said “oh my god” I almost screamed the same thing back because I was scared and didn’t expect it at all. Anyways he asked for a lighter and then from there we ventured off to a forest. It was pretty cool because we just sat in the tree house talking about the day and just got high. It was pretty funny when he was getting down from the tree and the vine broke so he fell on his back. I couldn’t stop laughing and stopped. I knew he was getting mad. After we got off the tree we venture more and just started this weird poking fight. The only reason it was awesome that it was still daylight, it started raining, my feet were slipping from the mud, you could hear the rain on the leaves, and there was thunder! It was cool and It felt like I was in one of those weird ninja games.
yeah that was the end of my weekend. not touching a piece of homework. oh well
Day one-
I’m single. I’ve been single my whole 17 years of life. The last two years I’ve had weird friendships that lasted from 8 months to 3 months of complete bullshit. Almost every guy I’ve talked to I told myself he is a douchebag, so I won’t be utterly disappointed when they pull a dick move,and I was right everytime . SO far that technique has taken a win each time. These days I’m pretty happy being single because I can talk to whoever and hang with any person I desire. It’s lovely to be friends with everyone and not let those stupid silly emotions take over.
I’m a free bitch, and I love it.
Apparently my friend doesn’t like me so much that she has to delete me as a friend on facebook.
Awesome, and no explanation as to why
- myself: I can't believe I did that
- sawyer: I can't believe you did either. I just can't imagine you doing that. What were you thinking?
- myself: I wasn't. It was a fuck it and live life kind of moment. You know, I can't stop laughing with how stupid people can be when they're drunk. This sounds mean but people don't me shit to me when they are. I never want to think what they're saying is true. I hate people as it is so I just don't care for them too much
- sawyer: Yeah..oh well.. shit happens and you just got to leave it at that
So I had planneed to do nothing for the rest of my evening, after I had been hanging with other people. Started talking to my friend Sawyer who doesn’t go to my school anymore and we were both bored so we hung out. Went to lebanon to chill with his friends then get a banana split then back to his house. Talked about the awkward situations that is going on with people in the group and getting some good advice. It was nice and I planned to just stay there because of how baked I was. Either way my mom called freaking out. Which never happens because I told her where I was and all that other stuff I usually do to check in, but I was pissed because I had to do small driving back home. Now I’m home getting ready to sleep after eating some nice sliced strawberries and apple.
I’m really glad how my day went.
Here is what my plan was and is:
let go before they try to let go first
This could result into some unnecessary emotional bullshit.
I’m ready!
- me: Hey I just got back from getting my first pedicure with Jessica
- brother: Oh that's cool..why do girls like to go get pedicures and stuff for their birthdays?
- me: I don't know how to explain it..it's like guys going out and getting laid and stuff for their birthdays
- brother: *laughs awkwardly*
I like drinking because I like to let loose, I like smoking weed because I like to feel relaxed. I like what just happened. Living my life as a teenager under the influence and taking risks I could or couldn’t experience much later in the future. It’s great all of this that is going on. I just had my first game of beer pong, starting a pointless drunk fight with an ex, and most of all walking the empty streets of my hometown and yelling loudly (while being very high likewise drunk), the song Pursuit of Happiness by Kid Cudi.
fuck yes, fuck yes, fuck yes, to not giving a fuck to anyone.
so when I left school to go chill with some friends we found our way to a persons house I used to have feelings for. I had chilled for a while then decided I was going to mob out and be with different people, after I had said something that one person said
“it’s about time you left” and “..don’t let the door hit you on the way”
I love when guys are big douche bags to me after things in the past happened.
:]my confidence is great right now <3
My friends went to school extremely high this morning and I got a kick out of it. Their eyes were way red and they couldn’t stop smiling. Man.. looking at them made me feel high but luckily I wasn’t! I am pretty greatful that the space between myself and being high isn’t much of a difference. Today I wasn’t high and I sang through the halls in a circle with one of my friends and then laughing super hard afterwards. Life is way cool and I got to make the most of it from where I’m chilling at.